tales of loss and fire and faith

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Basic Stats

Name: M'ahina Molkoh
Age: 20 at the start of ARR
Race: Mi'qote
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Left blue, right green
Height: 5'3"
Class: Bard, Dancer, *Gunbreaker (post Shadowbringers, WoL version only)
Other: Decent culinarian. Dabbles in botany but is more interested in pretty flowers than any practical aspects.
Guardian: Azeyma / Menphina
City state: Gridania
Appearance: Clean and well-kept; bathes frequently due to her Gridanian upbringing (except for when life on the road doesn't allow it). Usually has at least one flower somewhere on her person. Prefers styles of dress that keep her legs as free as possible. Sometimes puts her hair into a side ponytail.
reference image | tank version

Pre-game History

M'ahina's mother was a Seeker of the Sun hunter of an offshoot of the M tribe in Gyr Abania. When civil war broke out in Ala Mhigo, she fled to Gridania, not wanting to get drawn into the conflict. She was not welcome – the local Gridanians accused her of bringing woodsin to the forest, and some of the elder Elezen were wary of her Ala Mhigan heritage due to old resentment from the Autumn War. She eventually migrated to one of the more reclusive Seeker of the Moon settlements, where she was tolerated on the condition she provide for the clan. Eventually, she would marry one of the residents.

M'ahina's father was a Keeper of the Moon, though a controversial figure within his community. He was a well-respected archer and diplomat within Gridania, responsible for helping foster trade between the city and his clan, and working with the Trapper's League to make sure his clan followed Gridanian law while hunting. Yet while this brought his people more comfort and freedom than they had known previously, it's success was attributed to the family matriarch for allowing him to make those steps. In reality, he was considered a failure in the eyes of his own people, as one of the few breeding males settling exclusively with an outsider was unheard of, which was compounded by the fact he had only a single child. M'ahina, whose name was chosen to reflect both sides of her heritage; the M prefix of her mother's tribe, and the surname of father's family.

Suffice to say, M'ahina's upbringing was somewhat unusual. She was raised with the knowledge of both parent's cultures and curiously absorbed both. Her mother would teach her some of her sect's dances honoring Azeyma and the importance of strength; her father would teach her to use a bow to provide for community; the clan's links to Gridania would teach her a love of nature and the forest. Her parents would eventually move directly into the city to protect her from having to live in two worlds at once, and the city came to feel like home; ideals of clan power structure were lost on her, though the importance of freedom and family were not.

M'ahina herself was spoiled rotten. Her parents were both warm and kind and let her get away with entirely too much. She was a bubbly and unfocused child, flitting to whatever seemed fun in the moment, avoiding any kind of work she could, and brazenly charming her way out of discipline. Her mother especially poured attention into her, perhaps out of loneliness, or perhaps regret; M'ahina was born the year the Garleans invaded Ala Mhigo.

Eventually, the tides of war would come to Eorzea, and both of M'ahina's parents answered the call to arms from the Grand Companies, joining the Twin Adder. They both proved considerably talented officers and moved up the ranks very quickly; this came at the cost of leaving their daughter alone more than they had previously, and M'ahina, who had always soaked up love and attention like a sponge, was somewhat resentful. She was young, and did not entirely understand the weight of her parents' duties.

It was a trying time, between the threat of invasion, Dalamud hanging ominously in the sky, weather and crops changing, and the emergence of moon worshiping cultists. Naturally, it could only get worse. M'ahina's parents were both called to the Battle of Cartenau when she was fifteen. Though she was far too young to be present, she was able to witness Dalamud fall and the ensuing destruction from Gridania. Like most, her memory is foggy, but she vividly remembers waking up in the aftermath. The land was changed, many of her friends and neighbors were missing, and her parents were gone. Like most who vanished in the aftermath of the battle, they were presumed dead.

Her grief was overwhelming, and M'ahina did what she did best: avoid it. Where once she was undisciplined and unfocused, suddenly she threw all her energy into her bowmanship, into singing, playing the harp, poetry. Partying. Anything that might keep her mind occupied. She was too young to inherit her parents' property and assets, which were transferred to the matriarch of her father's side of the family, forcing her to reunite with her father's clan. Her aunts did their best for her, but she was a handful for them to deal with, and ultimately, she never felt like she belonged. They were stricter than she was used to dealing with, and her tendency to do whatever she wanted whenever she felt like it did not sit well them. They placed a new expectation of living for the benefit of the clan her shoulders, and their attempts to reel her in, though well-intentioned, hurt more than helped. Every scolding she received seem to deepen the divide.

Amidst all the unrest, she began to have headaches. First mild, then slowly accompanied by a voice calling out to her. At first, she pointedly ignored it, but after a time, she began to feel Gridania had exhausted all it had to offer her, and heeded the call. Feeling bored, restless, and somewhat isolated, she left home to become an adventurer on a total whim.

A Realm Reborn / Seventh Astral Era

M'ahina's rise to fame. In spite of being deeply irresponsible, or perhaps because of it, she was able to commit to the life of an adventurer fairly easily. Menial tasks she would normally avoid became pleasant when they brought a smile to someone's face, and she learned to appreciate they could sometimes come to form new connections and lead to grander things. Through the Scions she found friends and allies, and came to relish in the simple satisfaction of winning in impossible odds. Such began to choose her path for her, as she was often called upon when things became dire.

She eventually found herself called into more political arenas—the Grand Companies, Alliance leaders, negotiations with Ishgard. These, she did not appreciate so much, restless as she was, but she was willing to sit through it for her friends. Though it was not her forte, she did eventually find it be worthwhile; she could suffer it in exchange for protecting people, and it did afford her with new allies. After a while, it seemed her fame could only grow, but as she was to learn, it came with a price.

Heavensward

Her foray into Ishgard started on a low note. Exiled, framed for murder, many of her comrades missing, and her connection to Hydaelyn cut off. She did what she had been doing her whole life; throw herself into other pursuits to avoid thinking about it much. Her desire to help people put her in yet more involvement with war and political entanglements. It did earn her friendships akin to family, but some ties would be severed all too soon. She locked away the pain and the guilt, and at times, she would look back on her triumphs and begin to feel more of a weapon or tool than a person with her own agency.

But she did not flee. For the first time, she began to feel a sense of actual responsibility, owing to one of her most important lessons: the will to do what must need be done. This drive would eventually see her reunited with the Scions and help her pave the way for Ishgard to find peace. But her story was far from over.

Stormblood

This section needs to be reworked

Shadowbringers

Venturing to the First was a far different experience than anything M'ahina had ever faced. Here lay a world on the brink—one tired of heroes. Accordingly, she needed to keep her actions more secret, which she did not mind, but it did force her to ponder what kind of legacy she would leave behind. Would it be positive, or would her her actions one day come to be villainized? What of those who already villainized her?

They were questions that she could perhaps not answer, but she did find some solace in the stories that came before her; this world's Warriors of Light, who did all they could for their star and came to be cursed for it. It made her realize what it was she was truly trying to protect, and that gave her strength. She was confronted with some hard truths about what she really was—more a product of circumstance than some grand destiny, and eventually, she was confronted with a choice, though it wasn't really much of a choice at all, in the end.

Emet-Selch chose the past. She chose the future. To remember, and to carry on.

Endwalker

M'ahina's return to the Source marked a turning point for her. Though all her adventures had gradually instilled with her a sense of personal responsibility, despite being a creature of whimsy, she now had a grasp of something she'd never had before: security. The ability to stop and listen to herself. To feel comfortable, even in quiet, alone moments. She even took up a new art—the Gunblade. Where her fighting style before had simply been an extension of herself, it was her desire to protect people and a small and rare side of discipline that allowed her to lead with a blade rather than a song.

She did things even she thought impossible—like play the lone hero unflinchingly when the moment called for it. To stare despair head-on instead of running front it, as she always had. It changed her outlook on the things around her, of what good and evil really was, and of a question that had been planted in the back of her mind some time ago—whether she could truly be happy when there were no longer greater heights to challenge. Through this, she came to understand the one person she never wanted to—Zenos—and even found that she could relate to him in some strange way after all. Albeit perhaps not in the way that he had hoped.

After all was said and done, she came to realize one thing: though many mistakes were made along the way, she didn't regret any of it. Though she found herself quite eager to return to her roots; travel, and bit of mischief. For all of her growth, the freedom of going with the wind ever calls to her.

Personality

Sunny, extroverted, and with an optimistic streak a mile wide M'ahina's greatest motivation comes from two sources: new experiences, and her interactions with others.

Her foremost love is learning new things and seeing new sights; to have fun and reinforce herself with positive experiences. She flits from one thing to the next with a seemingly endless supply of energy and optimism. She never seems to slow down, but this is not to say she doesn't relax. Quite the opposite, she at at times seems to love fun a little too much. Work hard, party harder is her ethos. She slacks off on things she doesn't find interesting, and is so avoidant of stress and negative thoughts that she can come across as out of tune with her own deeper emotions, or even shallow and immature.

Reality is that she a thin-skinned escape artist. She finds inner reflection tiresome and draining, and left to her own devices she quickly grows restless and lonely—something she copes poorly with. She feels ill at ease with herself, taking it as a personal failing if she can't remain upbeat, and blaming herself for any negativity directed towards her in her personal relationships. Her solution to keep such things from spiraling is constant distraction. If things aren't fun, she wants little to do with them, and she has failed to realize her extreme aversion to negativity serves only to make things harder on herself than they need to be. When she's in a good place, distractions can take healthy forms like music and cultivating friendships; when she's in a bad place she will become more increasingly more clingy or reckless. In fact, much of her boldness comes down to her simply failing to contemplate consequences.

That is not to say she's incapable of reflection. She simply extends it outward instead of within, and where she does not entirely seem to understand herself, she can be surprisingly perceptive of others. She loves learning about people, connecting the threads of their lives, and searching for deeper meaning behind their words and actions, and where she avoids thinking much about her own feelings, she is prone to overanalyze that of others. There's a very simple reason for that: her personal connections are deeply important to her, and there's nothing she loves more than exploring them. She adores people and wants to see them express themselves, and she's very open with her compassion, be it an encouraging word or a simple hand to the shoulder. The flipside is that her scrutiny of people leads to overthinking and misunderstandings. She will sometimes misconstrue people's motivations. and tends to take the most minor of social transgressions to heart. She so fervently wants to help people that she can also be a bit of a busybody. She can be very frustrating to deal with for more introverted sorts especially; her enthusiasm can at times give her a blind spot of when to stop. She will do her very best to annoy her way into being someone's new best friend until she is explicitly told not to. (spoilers: yes, she takes it personally.)

Though in spite of her need to be connected to others, she is quite independent. She values the freedom of being able to come and go as she pleases and resents being boxed in by rules, often ignoring ones that don't appeal to her sense of altruism or creativity. She is not a creature of practical solutions, thinking more in ideas and concepts, not so much what is actually required to execute them. Planning, foresight, general responsibility... not really for her. Give her a challenge, the less practical, the better. Menial tasks are most likely to be procrastinated on until such time they become important, unless she really thinks they'll bring a smile to someone's face. She lacks focus and seems to almost revel in pushing boundaries. Really, it's quite a wonder she she gets anything done. Or that anyone lets her anywhere near meetings.

Though she is thin-skinned and introspectively avoidant, she does understand what she values most: helping people. Making the world a better place. Protecting those who cannot protect themselves. She retains a smile through the worst of it, and perhaps that's enough.

Romance

Terrible idea.

She prefers all of her relationships to be intimate; she isn't one for one night stands. Though intimacy need not be strictly romantic. She is perfectly okay with getting to know people and cultivating friendships via casual sex, if that's what both parties want. She can fall for people she's involved with very easily and tends to get swept away with things; she'll pour herself into new relationships from the get-go, and even when her gut feelings tell her it's not a good idea, she tends to act on impulse. She loves something new and exciting.

Conversely: she is flighty about commitment. She doesn't seem to have plans of ever settling down quietly, and when she travels, her heart goes with her. Needless to say, most of her romantic ventures tend to be whirlwinds that never actually go anywhere. She has a list of things of she won't pursue: people she works closely with, people with strong political affiliations, people she's too close to, those who know her only as the Warrior of Light... She thinks she is choosy about partners; reality is that she doesn't have the emotional tenacity for complications in relationships, or confidence that any kind of romantic partner would be willing to stay with her her in spite of her lifestyle. Adventuring comes first, and she has zero intention to ever stop moving.

She could make a good partner if someone actually had the patience to deal with her outward immaturity and thin skin, but most would probably be turned off by the amount of reassurance she'd need to reach that point.

tales of loss and fire and faith

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February 2022

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February 9th, 2022

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